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PREFACE 

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GENERAL ITEMS
FOGGYDAVES CANTENNA 
THE EVIL OVERLORD LIST

THE EVIL MINIONS GUIDE

OTHER EVIL/ HERO  GUIDES
A FEW VERSES 

NAMES I CALL MY WIFE & SHAKESPEAREAN INSULTS

COLLECTIVE NOUNS FOR ANIMAL SPECIES

SOME OTHER EBAY SALES WITH STORIES

THE REAL MEANING OF HAYNES MANUAL INSTRUCTIONS

SALAD FINGERS

TOMTOM SATNAV SAG BLUES

 

KITE MAKING PAGES

REVOLUTION KITE MAKING

 

CONTRIBUTIONS FROM READERS

STORIES BY HATTYMENDER  

STORIES BY HELEN WORRALL

 

STORIES  AND EBAY SALES

1     AN OLD LAND ROVER
2     EBAY
3     SELLING AN OLD LAND ROVER  
4     SELLING WHEELS AND TYRES
5     A NEW JOB AT THE FUNERAL PARLOUR
6     SELLING VIDEO CAMERA
7     MY BIRTHDAY TODAY
8     WITCHERY PART ONE
9     SELLING CANVAS HOOD
10   WITCHERY PART TWO
11   SELLING CARAVAN HITCHDRIVE 
12   WITCHERY PART THREE
13   SELLING RATCHET STRAPS  
14   WITCHERY PART FOUR
15   SELLING GOAL POSTS  
16   WITCHERY PART FIVE
17   SELLING A HI VIZ COAT
18   WITCHERY PART SIX

19   SELLING 3 TONNES OF CLAY    
2O  WITCHERY PART SEVEN
21   SELLING A WHEEL CLAMP
22   SHOPPING AND THE HESITANT DOORS
23   SELLING AN OLD PAIR OF BOOTS

24   THE REAL DE VINCI CODE

25   MY GUITAR AND AMP

26   SELLING MOTORBIKE PANNIERS

27   HALLOWEEN

28 SELLING A HIGHWAY CODE

29 ZEN AND THE ART OF  LAND ROVER MAINTENANCE

30  SELLING A CIGARETTE LIGHTER AND A TRIP TO SCOTLAND

31  CHRISTMAS LIGHT RAGE

32  METAMORPHOSIS

33 SELLING AN AMBER BEACON

34 THE UNIVERSE IS A  BIG PLACE

35 SELLING A  BLOW LAMP

36 SELLING BOOTS UPDATE

37 SELLING A  TORCH

38 SELLING A MOTORBIKE JACKET

39 SELLING A POWER JUICER

40 SELLING A HORSE WHIP

41 THE BOAT

42 SELLING LAND ROVER SIDE STEPS

43 SELLING A  TOW / RECOVERY CHAIN

44 SELLING LAND ROVER BULL BARS

45 SELLING THE FOGGYDAVE CARRIER BAG

46 CARAVAN RAGE OR AGINCOURT DEUXIEME PARTIE

 

 

 

THOSE DROOPY TOMTOM SATNAV BLUES AND A SIMPLE CURE

 510 GO, 710 GO, 910 GO.

( Satnav Sag )

FULL FITTING INSTRUCTIONS BELOW

As one gets older certain parts of the anatomy start to loose the shape they once proudly held. Bits start sagging and drooping and can no longer function as once they did. This problem also applies to everyday objects, *one being the TomTom satnav holder and unit. Now I do not profess to have a cure for human body parts but do have a simple cure for the TomTom satnav. Specifically the 510 GO, 710 GO, and 910 GO units that use the holder pictured below. The solution I offer you is a simple inexpensive clip. The working principle is that the clip tightens the shoulder onto the ball joint thereby stiffening it. (I am really trying hard not to sink into a plethora of innuendo and double entendre, the scope is enormouse, but with a tight British resolve will rise above it.)

 

*This problem normally occurs during hot weather.

 

 I will be selling these on Ebay.  If you require a link or wish to purchase a clip just drop me an email @ davidforrester1@ntlworld.com At the moment I think the price will be around 3.50 plus P&P

 

The humble TomTom satnav mount  

 Foggydaves satnav sag cure

 

Satnav proudly erect

Oh no its started already

Party over

 

The problem droop syndrome (Sorry about the innuendo I had to do it)

 

To solve this problem you could buy a genuine TomTom mount @ 35 or a pattern one with only a power socket and none of the other sockets for 11. But with this clip for just 3.50 you not only solve the problem but save some money and keep your genuine mount. Think how proud you will be when your TomTom does not droop even in the most testing of conditions. How your chest will fill with pride when your wife says. "Oh Nigel your TomTom stays erect for such a long time"

What I offer here is the Viagra of the satnav world. Buy one to keep in your glove compartment, you never know when it may come in handy.

(Once again I apologise for the innuendo but the urge was too great)

 

The simple clip to cure to all your saggy satnav problems

The clip fitted to your TomTom. You can either pre-tighten to a fixed tension or tighten each time you install your Satnav

 

If only some of the more intimate male problems could be cured by the use of a simple clip such as this .......... maybe they can ................. who knows.

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 Shown below are the two ways of fitting the clip onto your Satnav.

Method one

The first and simplest method involves unscrewing the clip and bending it over the shoulder and re-locating the screw.

1 Turn screw anticlockwise and unscrew the strap until it is free of the screw

2 Pull the strap apart until it can be placed over the shoulder of the satnav holder

3 Put strap on satnav shoulder

 

3 Pinch the strap in to the screw with thumb and forefinger and turn screw until it engages on the strap

4 Turn screw until the clip is tight.

5 For maximum efficiency of the clip it should be positioned as close to the edge of the shoulder as possible

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The second more difficult method involves stripping and splitting part of the Satnav to allow the clip to go over the shoulder. If you have banana fingers like me then the first method may be for you as the screws are very tiny and once dropped on the carpet may disappear forever.

Method two

Undo the 3 screws that hold the cover on

Take cover off to reveal the printed circuit board

 

                                     

Undo 2 screws that hold the circuit board note different lengths

Take off circuit board

                             

Split the 2 parts of the satnav holder

Place clip over shoulder

                          

After locating the screws you dropped and the wife hoovered up re-asemble using the reverse procedure

 

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